If you are reading this and are expecting a baby shortly, congratulations! 🎉
Finding ways to stay calm and connected to your body during your labor and delivery is essential to a happy mom and baby, and a shorter labor….trust me, I’m a birth doula 😉
I’ve made a list of 33 tips and tricks that you can use during your pregnancy and labor to help keep peace at the forefront. These can be applied in any birth setting, whether at home, hospital or birth center.
Some tips have limitations with certain medications and interventions so be sure to ask your provider if you have questions on how these can be used during your labor.
Save this list for reference through your pregnancy journey and feel free to reach out with any more tips that have worked for you!
Without further ado, here they are! 😘
1. Relax Your Jaw
Relax your jaw and the rest of your body follows suit. Place your tongue on your front upper palate, directly behind your front top teeth and feel how loose your jaw is. Practice this throughout your pregnancy so that you are ready to use it during labor.
2. Relax your hands
Similar to relaxing your jaw so that the rest of your body relaxes – relaxing your hands provides the same effect. When you clench your fists and hold tension in your hands, tension spreads throughout your body. During labor, remind yourself and have your support team remind you to soften your hands.
3. Breath work
Breath work is absolutely essential to keep you calm during your labor and to keep oxygen flowing to baby! During early and active labor, there are several different breathing techniques you can try (horse lips, blowing out birthday candles, etc.), but the essential thing to remember is to keep breathing. Most common is the practice of inhaling to the count of 4, imagining that you are inflating a balloon inside your belly to allow it to fully expand, and exhale slowly and completely to the count of 8. You can have your support team count for you if you’d like. During the pushing stage of labor, you will want to practice what is called ‘Down Breathing’. For this breath work, you take a strong breath in, and as you exhale you channel that breath all the way down your body to your uterus and pelvis. This type of breath work is great to practice on the toilet, because the muscles used are similar to when you need to go #2. Start practicing your breath work now and a calm birth will follow!💨
4. Visualization
Visualization is a powerful tool for keeping your thoughts and emotions calm throughout labor, and the possibilities are endless! During contractions, you can imagine your pelvis and cervix gently opening up like the leaves of a flower. You can imagine that you are riding a wave in a beautiful ocean, the wave drawing you up, and then slowly letting you come back down. Framing your mind on this type of positive visualization can really help keep you present in the moment and allow you to focus on one contraction at a time. For an added bonus, you can listen to the sounds of ocean waves to really kick this visualization up a notch and make it seem even more real! Get creative and find what works for you! 🌊
5. Rest during early labor
Early labor can be a long process, from the time you start feeling your first contractions to when they become longer, stronger and more intense and you begin to enter the active labor stage. There are often so many emotions during this time, you might feel excited, antsy, nervous, confused, and those are all extremely normal things to feel. As a birth doula, what I tell my clients is, if your contractions are mild and manageable, to try and get as much rest as you can, no matter the time of day. Labor is a marathon, not a sprint, and you will need the energy for what’s to come. Resting during early labor allows your brain to take a pause and slow down and will make it easier for your body to prepare for the marathon ahead!💤
6. Affirmations
Affirmations in any form during labor help keep you focused on the positive and to put trust in your body. You can have your support people tell you specific affirmations throughout labor like “You are doing an incredible job”, “Look how far you have come”, “You are strong”. You can choose affirmations to tell yourself throughout labor as well. There is no one affirmation fits all, you just need to find something that resonates with you and makes you feel calm, empowered, and strong.💪
7. Vocalization
Using vocalization throughout your labor can look like speaking out affirmations, or it could be really long-drawn-out vowel sounds to help you breathe through a contraction. Vocalization is a powerful distraction tool and can feel very therapeutic. Some women find tapping into primal noises and allowing whatever sound to come out the easiest way to stay focused. Don’t be self-conscious when it comes to vocalization, because trust me, no one is judging you!🙉
8. Meditation/Prayer
Meditation is another amazing tool for pain distraction. Meditation can look similar to affirmations and visualization. It can also be completely silent, as you allow your mind to draw inwards, and you find deep connection with your body and soul. If you find comfort in prayer, you may also find it helpful to repeat quick prayers or bible verses throughout your labor.
9. Music
If you are someone who finds joy and comfort through music, use it for your labor! Plan to make 2 playlists, one that is higher energy for when you are feeling excited and have bursts of energy though labor, and one that is slower and calmer for when you really need to relax and focus through your contractions. Make each playlist at least a couple of hours long and bring a portable speaker to the hospital if you have one on hand. You can also use hypnobirthing, affirmation, or nature sounds in this way.🎵
10. Lighting
Changing up your environment when you are birthing in the hospital is an easy way to feel immediately more comfortable, and one of the best ways to do this is to ask to dim the lights. Hospitals usually need a little bit of light, but you can easily have the majority of the room dimmed. The last thing you want when you are trying to relax and work through a painful contraction is bright light in your eyes.💡 So make it dark and enjoy!
11. Support people
Who you choose to have and not have in your birth room is critical to keeping a calm and peaceful environment. Get your partner involved and tell them ways they can advocate for you, and ways they can help keep you calm, whether through light massage, dimming lights, hip squeezes, giving you sips of water, you name it! You may also want to consider hiring a doula to add to your birth support. Us doulas are known for our calming presence, teaching partners how to support labor, and getting moms into optimal positions for baby while keeping moms comfortable. Just as important as who is there to support you during the labor itself, is considering if you need to draw clear boundaries with family on when they can visit. It can be stressful to know you have a lobby or house full of people waiting for you to birth baby – and stress in labor is absolutely a thing to avoid.🙅♀️ Let people know what your expectations are and take the pressure off of the labor and birth; family will ultimately understand.
12. Focus on one contraction at a time
If you do nothing else on this list, this is the tip not to miss! Labor is hard physical, mental, and emotional work and it’s impossible to foresee how long your labor will last. Some women go from 4 cm to 10 cm in a matter of short hours, while for others it can take several hours. When you put an internal clock in your brain, you introduce stress and frustration to the birthing process, which can result in pain and longer labors. Allow your mind to focus on one contraction at a time. When you keep focus on one contraction at a time, you allow all of your energy to pull you through and it gives your mind and body exactly what it needs in that moment.
13. Positioning
When you think of ways to have a calm and peaceful birth, positioning might not be something you consider, however positioning in labor has positive effects not only on helping baby move down the pelvis, but also helping keep you calm and comfortable. Slow dancing, with your arms on a partner while you face and lean into them, with rhythmic swaying can be comforting and the closeness can release natural oxytocin (hello double benefit). Sitting backwards on the toilet or leaning over a birth ball can help relieve pressure from your lower back and can help stretch those muscles, and it’s an easy position for a support person to apply some counter pressure. Side lying with a pillow or peanut ball between your knees helps wiggle baby down the pelvis, and it’s also one of the most comfortable positions for active labor because it allows for rest. There are dozens of positions to try during labor, and even pushing, so start looking into them and practicing some of the now!
14. Massage
Massage in labor is not your typical prenatal massage. Massage during labor is very light and is another amazing tool for creating peace. You can have a support person gently rub a massage roller, or tennis ball, on your back and shoulders. You can also have them try a technique called ‘Breaking the Popsicle’ on your wrists and forearms where their thumbs are on top of your arm, fingers on underside of your arm, and they apply light pressure while imagining they are breaking a double popsicle. You can have them gently run their fingers along your upper back and shoulders. Massage can help keep you calm between contractions and can be helpful as a distraction during contractions.💆♀️
15. Counter pressure & hip squeezes
Counter pressure and hip squeezes are helpful tools for relieving back and hip pain during labor. Counter pressure is done by applying steady, strong pressure to the lower back using the palm of your hands or use both hands to apply pressure on the hips. For a hip squeeze, you place your palms low on the hips, fingers facing in, and apply strong pressure, bringing fingers together and slightly up. These both feel amazing when mom is having pain and needs rest and relief!
16. Educate yourself
Just like you wouldn’t show up to a vacation you had not researched and planned for, you shouldn’t show up to your labor and birth without having done proper research! Of course, birth is unpredictable, and every birth is different, but being prepared on the basics of childbirth is empowering and essential for a peaceful mom and baby. Image how stressful it would be to be faced with an unplanned hiccup during labor, and not having any idea what it means for you, or understanding what the doctors are suggesting! Not what you want, trust me. Give yourself the peace of mind, and set yourself up well for the labor, by taking a childbirth class, so that you can be calm and confident in your decision making.✅
17. Make a birth plan
Making a birth plan, much like educating yourself mentioned above, will help you to mentally prepare for what you might encounter during your labor and will help you feel more at peace and confident in your decision making. Because of the unpredictable nature of childbirth, it’s important to be open-minded if unforeseen problems arise, but making a birth plan should be from the point of view that everything goes to plan, so that you know what you are most passionate about for your birth and what you’re okay with if you don’t get it. This can help you feel connected to your birth no matter what happens – and having a sense of control and connection is calming (and empowering).🕊
18. Labor in water
The research on the benefits of laboring in the water are vast! Water acts as a natural pain reliever. It can shorten labor, promote calmness, and reduce perineal trauma from pushing.💯 In order to get the full benefits of water in labor, you’ll need to have your entire abdomen covered, and remain in the water for at least 15-minutes. Being in the warm water can give you a strong sense of peace and control, as you can get in and out, mostly whenever you would like (besides with certain interventions). Most hospitals have at least 2-3 birth suites with a jacuzzi, and are first come first served, so if you are interested in having this option during labor, ask your provider about it!💦
19. Aromatherapy
Aromatherapy is the use of aromatic plant extracts or oils for therapeutic benefits. Lavender, chamomile and lemongrass are used most often during labor and are known for their calming effects. You can use a diffuser; but, you might find during your labor that certain smells start to bother you and it’s hard to get rid of a smell released from a diffuser. With my clients, I recommend placing a couple of drops on a lightly damp washcloth and holding that to their face or their forehead during labor, so that it can be easily sealed in a Ziplock if they decide they don’t want to smell it anymore.👃
20. Rhythmic movement
Rhythmic movement throughout labor will come naturally to most without really thinking about it. Bouncing on a birth ball, slow dancing, hands and knees and rocking your pelvis side to side or forwards and backwards, so many more. Getting into a rhythm with your movements can be super peaceful and therapeutic. Find a position you are comfortable in and try adding in small movements to keep your mind occupied and focused.
21. Focal points
Using focal points during your labor and birth can create a sense of peace and connection to your body and loved ones. You can put up a string of photos of your family, ultrasound photos, birth affirmation cards, or quotes you like. Put up anything that will bring you joy and comfort! Being able to focus in on these images during and in between contractions, will help remind you that the pain has a purpose and it’s all worth it to meet your beautiful baby.👶
22. Make your birth space feel like home
If you are at home or at a birth center for your birth, take it in and enjoy the warm and inviting space and lean into that during your labor. In the hospital setting, it can be challenging to connect with the space and find that comfort that is so important during labor, BUT there are small things you can bring from home to help. Bring your favorite cozy blanket, pillow, fuzzy warm socks, LED candles, and pictures. You’ll notice that even having a few of these small things can bring huge amounts of comfort.🏡
23. TENS unit
People have been using TENS units for muscular pain relief and labor pain relief for years! TENS stands for transcutaneous electrical nerve stimulation. It’s a small device connected to electrode pads that are placed on your back, and it delivers an electrical current through the surface of your skin. It feels similar to pins and needles, much like when your arm or leg fall asleep. It’s especially good for back labor but can be beneficial no matter what. It helps occupy your brain and keeps the pain response from getting any attention. Think about when your leg falls asleep, it’s usually all you can think about until it’s gone. That’s what the TENS unit can do for pain management. Talk to your doula, or provider about using a TENS unit for your labor.⚡
24. Labor comb
Labor combs are exactly what they sound like, combs used during labor. Holding onto a comb and applying pressure to your palm helps focus your pain away from your contraction and into your palm instead. Laboring women like the autonomy of being able to control when they use the comb as well. 👍
25. Frame your thoughts on the positive
This one is a given! Keep your thoughts on how far you have come, how powerful your body is and how it’s doing everything it needs to be doing to support birthing the baby, and how strong you are. When you notice negative thoughts or fears creeping in, remind yourself of these positive truths and acknowledge how amazing you are. Staying positive will keep you feeling calm and at peace.🌸
26. Create natural Oxytocin
Oxytocin is a hormone produced during labor to create contractions and keep labor moving along. Even if you use Pitocin, a synthetic form of oxytocin used by hospitals during labor, you can still find ways to naturally release Oxytocin as well. Nipple stimulation is an easy way to produce Oxytocin. You can ask for privacy during labor, and have your partner help you with this or bust out your breastpump and give it a try. You can also produce Oxytocin by having closeness with your partner, so have them hold you or kiss you to get the hormones flowing!
27. Hot/cold therapy
Hot and cold therapy is used for so many things, and labor is absolutely one of them. You can use a cold ice pack or cool washcloth on your forehead, or a hot rice sock warmed in the microwave. You can use a microwavable/freezable pad for both hot and cold therapy. Heat is used to calm and relax you and can be applied to your shoulders or back. Cold therapy is used to numb when applied for at least 60 seconds. Remember to never apply directly to the skin, and don’t apply anywhere that might be numb from medication or epidurals.🔥🧊
28. Find a provider you trust and feel comfortable with
You might be in an area with limited providers, and if you are, spend extra time and effort during your prenatal visits to share your plans and hopes for labor and ask questions. This will help strengthen your communication and build trust with your provider. If you are looking for a provider and have some options, take your time, do some consults with OBs, midwives, and local birth centers. Find a provider that makes you feel heard and comfortable. I also happen to be an advocate for changing providers at literally any time before your baby arrives if you are not happy with the care you are receiving. Being comfortable with your provider will make you more comfortable during your labor.
29. Trust your body and your instincts
This one might also seem like a given, but you’d be surprised how many laboring women rely solely on their providers when it comes to their labor. Don’t sell yourself short and try to tap into your instincts when you need to make decisions. Providers might be experts, but you are the only expert when it comes to you and your body – so trust it! Trust the hard work your body is doing to bring your baby into the world.
30. Keep the room quiet and minimize distractions
People come and go in the birth room, but you can ask for a quiet room with minimal distractions. When you’re in your zone during contractions, the last thing you want is for your providers to be chatting and asking you questions! Ask for a quiet environment from providers and your birth supports and focus where you need to.🤫
31. Labor at home for as long as possible
We’ve all seen the movies, where a woman’s water breaks while she’s out shopping, and she’s immediately running to the hospital and birthing the baby within an hour. If only! Labor is a long process, and early labor sometimes can last for a full day. Most providers follow the 5-1-1 rule where you come in when contractions are 5 minutes apart, lasting 1 minute, for an entire hour. If you are before this point in labor and generally coping well, try to labor at home for as long as possible. Nowhere is more comforting than your own home, and being able to take advantage of this during labor will most always help you in the long run.
32. Hypnobirthing
Hypnobirthing courses are easily found online, or possibly in your area if you have a lot of good birth resources. Hypnobirthing combines breath work, affirmations, visualizations, and meditation to help you mentally through your labor. It’s a powerful tool for staying calm and relaxed and is one of the best things to look into during your pregnancy.🧘♀️
P.S. Hypnobirthing is one of the biggest reasons I was able to have a completely unmedicated, intervention-free birth!
33. Hire a doula
Hiring a doula takes the pressure off you and your partner so that you don’t have to try to remember all of the positions, breathing, and pain relief techniques you might have learned in a birth class, and you can truly just be present and focus on the labor. Doulas have extensive knowledge on optimal positioning, breathing, pain management, can help direct partners, teach advocacy techniques, and will give all of the energy and focus on keeping moms and their partners at ease throughout the entire labor, delivery and immediate postpartum. Their support is invaluable if you are looking for ways to ensure a peaceful and calm birth.
If you are in Eastern Washington and looking for a doula, check out my website. And for anyone outside of that area, you can use the site MeetYourDoula.com to search for doulas in your area.