Hello birth friend!
I am so glad you’re here and that we get to talk about our birth experiences in a real, uncensored way that hopefully helps us connect as women!
I’m a mom to an 18 month old boy, and soon to be mom to another boy in the late spring! I look back at my birth story with my son and am reminded of all the beautiful ways our bodies prepare for birthing our children, and also the sheer unpredictability of labor.
Like many others, I found out I was having a baby mid-pandemic. So all of the fear and unknown that can often come with going through your first pregnancy, I found an added level of fear and unknown in the scary world around me and what having a baby during that time would look like.
I’ve always been a person who leans more into natural remedies and pain relief, but when it came to choosing my provider for labor and delivery, I fell into this trap of thinking that my only options were to see an OB at the biggest hospital in town. It never really occurred to me that I might have other options, in my childbirth team, or the location of where I birthed.
I went to my OB appointments until I hit 26 weeks. I didn’t have any issues with the providers I was seeing, but I felt like I was just another number. I was just another person having a baby, and my providers literally knew nothing about me or my birth plans. I mean how could they when my appointments were the typical 7-10 minute long appointments you find in the medical settings?
The hospitals had COVID policies in place that limited so many things, and I literally didn’t know if my husband would be allowed in the birth room….👀🤯 I knew that I had a strong desire to do a natural, unmedicated birth, and that in order to achieve that, I needed to research my butt-off.
So, I did just that.
I started reading every article on Pinterest on natural birth, single-handedly keeping Google in business with my late-night searching, which eventually led me to a podcast from Lizzie Bolliger (@fiercelizzie) and to Hypnobubs, an Australian Hypnobirthing course. I listened to that darn podcast and my Hypnobirthing tracks every possible chance I got, and became OBSESSED.
I learned how to grow confidence in trusting my body, how to advocate for myself in settings where I might get a little more pushback, natural pain relief methods in labor; but what I consider the best takeaway from the podcasts, was that I learned that I had the right and ability to change providers for ANY reason, at ANY point up until the day I went into labor.
I decided that I wanted to be in a more supportive setting, that would get to know me personally, where I felt comfortable to ask every possible question I needed to. I ended up switching to a Birth Center at 28 weeks pregnant and literally never looked back.👋
Flash forward to the actual birth story!
It was a Saturday afternoon, 11 days before my due date, and for whatever reason, I had a very strong feeling that baby would be coming in the next couple of days. I kid you not, I actually called my mom and told her to consider changing a plan to go out of town, because I had such a strong feeling and didn’t want her to miss it! (talk about that mama intuition, amiright?)
I spent that afternoon on the birth ball, bouncing and dancing to Lizzo. I went on a long walk, and in the late evening, decided to give the old “sexy time” a shot to naturally encourage labor.😉
***Let me insert this caveat: As a now doula, I’ve learned to encourage the mental rest in the last weeks of pregnancy, much more than the temptation to try to get baby out***
Babies have a mind of their own and come when they want, despite all of our best efforts sometimes, but this time, it worked. About 12:30 a.m. I was laying in bed, with a cramp in my abdomen that just felt “off”. I woke up my sister, also a doula, who had been staying with us, and remember sitting on the couch, really being in denial about the possibility that this was the start of early labor. I’d never felt a contraction before and isn’t it true that your water is supposed to break and then you go into labor? (that’s what all the movies tell us).
After talking with my sister, we decided this was most likely early labor and to start timing the contractions for a little while. After an hour or so, and very inconsistent and mild contractions, we decided to both attempt to rest. I woke my husband up around 3:30 a.m. and that’s when my contractions started coming a little more regularly and a little more intensely. I bounced on my birth ball in our dark bedroom, while my husband kept one hand on my back and the other holding a barf bowl for me…labor is fun like that! phew
We contacted my midwife and went into the birthing center at 5:30 a.m. At that point, I was 3 centimeters dilated. My midwife told me to try to go home and rest, and that they would most likely be seeing me late that evening for active labor. We went home, and I decided to let my husband go back to sleep, while I labored on our living room couch and “watched” Friends. (watched as a loose term, I was in another world and am pretty sure it was actually on mute the whole time…lol)
Contractions really started to get intense around 7-7:30 a.m. And although I knew it was neither a possibility having baby in a birth center, nor a part of my personal plan, I kept with my Hypnobirthing breathing techniques and chanted the word “Epidural” in my head to get through the pain – honestly, whatever it takes to get you through, no judgement whatsoever!
My water broke around 8:30 a.m. and at that point, I woke up my husband and called my midwives because contractions came on like a motherf***er. 🤣 I tried to grab a quick shower before going into the birth center, but found myself on the floor of my shower, with my husband right there next to me, summoning all of my mental and physical strength, and entering deep meditation.
We got to the birth center around 10:00 a.m. and I remember barely being able to walk to the birth suite. My midwife showed my husband how to do a rebozo for hip pain relief, and he tried that while I leaned over the bed for about 20 minutes. At that point, my midwife asked if I wanted to do a cervical check to see how far along I was. She must not have expected me to have progressed so far so quickly because I’ll never forget the look on her face as she told me that I was fully dilated – pure shock!
She told my husband to quickly draw the bath water for the tub, while she ran to call her other midwives and birth assistant to get there ASAP. I labored in the tub for about 30 minutes, in full on transition, resisting the urge to push until I felt what everyone describes as intense pressure and the urge to poop (p.s. that means it’s go time!).
I pushed with my contractions for about 10 minutes. I did one position change to sit in the tub, and baby was out on the next contraction.
I held my baby boy, honestly in shock at what I just did, and the universe dissolved around us. My little guy, born at 11:43 a.m. on May 22, 2022 after 11 hours of completely unmedicated, intervention-free birth!
I was and am still amazed at how beautifully my son and I worked together through my labor and delivery. I had incredible support in my husband and my midwives.
The entire process is what ignited my passion to become a doula. So that I can help other women tap into the confidence to find a provider they love, to feel strong in their ability to advocate for themselves, to learn everything they can to prepare for birth, and ultimately to birth with autonomy, peace and empowerment!
And now I get to do just that!
If this story inspired you, let me know in the comments! 💗 I’d also love to answer any questions you have!
XO,
Erin